Yr 8 students ran past like a cheetah chasing its prey they were running like the wind. My stomach twisted and twirled like a machine, my heart started pounding like a drum. I huffed and Puffed like the big bad wolf.
I was relieved to see the finish line in sight, I heard the Roaring crowd cheering and yelling their lungs out for the competitors along with a thunderous applause. I clenched my fists as I past through the finish line, with sweat dripping down my face like a waterfall. I nearly dropped dead to the ground.
You have done a great job in showing not telling your reader how the cross country was for you. I really like the line 'with sweat dripping down my face like a waterfall'.
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