Once there was a very happy jumping bean that who hates spiders the jumping bean hates black spiders brown spiders the jumping bean is very fast he had came first in a running race he had won a awesome prize it was a red shiny car.
After getting his shiny red car he had drove of and went every were first he went to get something for lunch after getting something for lunch he had went and bought a pet dog,cat and even a bird.
After getting what he had wanted he was not looking and the car had crashed it was not a red shiny car any more it was a broken car.
Monday 2 September 2013
My story about a red shiny car
Once there was a very happy jumping bean that who hates spiders the jumping bean hates black spiders brown spiders the jumping bean is very fast he had came first in a running race he had won a awesome prize it was a red shiny car.
After getting his shiny red car he had drove of and went every were first he went to get something for lunch after getting something for lunch he had went and bought a pet dog,cat and even a bird.
After getting what he had wanted he was not looking and the car had crashed it was not a red shiny car any more it was a broken car.
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A good effort Ashley but some of your ideas are very repetitive and do not make sense. We can fix it up in class.
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